Please Don't Rush-Luang Prabang to Si Phan Don, Laos

Everything moves slower in Laos. I’m not sure if it is because of some strange electromagnetic anomaly, the relativistic effects of the earth’s rotation, or something in the water but from the second you enter this land-locked, Southeast Asian country time itself seems to say “Screw it, it’s too hot. I’m gonna go lie down.”  People walk slowly, talk slowly and get your coffee s-l-o-w-l-y. While this might seem like an infuriating peccadillo for a New Yorker who wants everything five minutes ago and has somehow managed to burn the candle at both ends and in the middle, it is actually a refreshing change of pace. Racing through such an amazing country would be a crime.  Like the blooming of a lotus blossom, the country of Laos will unveil itself in its own time. In the words of Ferris Bueller, “Life move pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

After returning from the Gibbon Experience Molly and I booked a ticket on a two day slow boat from Huay Xai to Luang Probang. These boats float lazily down the Mekong River connecting hundreds of tiny towns that would otherwise be completely cut off from the world. Being one of the poorest countries in the world, the only way to access these remote towns was, for thousands of years, by boating down the Mekong—the first roads connecting the Mekong towns and the rest of Laos were built in the late 1990s(!).

We arrived at the boat bright and early for an 8:30 departure only to find out that it wouldn’t leave until 10:30. Time to wait, might as well crack a beer.  The boat was half empty (this is one of those times where half empty is actually an optimistic point of view) so we wasted no time in getting to know the other passengers. On the boat there were a few locals, some friends from the Gibbon Experience and a lovely English couple named Clare and Will with whom we really hit it off. The party really got into full swing when a group of Canadian twenty-somethings boarded with a huge cooler full of beer, several bottles of whiskey and some Laotian moonshine called Lao Lao. Needless to say the next eight hours were really fun as we all talked, played music and watched the world slowly roll by.

The next day was decidedly more subdued and we took the time to relax. This section of the Mekong is dominated by high hills and tiny secluded villages. Small herds of water buffalo lounged in the muddy waters as children bathed and played games along the shore. Beautiful hilltop temples silently watched over our boat while it floated through the murky eddies. Jagged rock outcroppings would appear out of nowhere making the river particularly treacherous in spots. But our pilot was sharp-eyed and kept us out of harm’s way.

We reached Luang Prabang just as the sun was setting over the mountains. The town is a UNESCO World Heritage Site because of its beautiful architecture and rich history. Laos, Vietnam, and parts of Cambodia were all once part of French Indochina and all that colonialism has left its mark. Luang Prabang is an enchanting mix of western style with eastern flare. If Provence and Chiang Mai had a love child, it would be Luang Prabang. You can eat top-notch baguettes while listening to the gentle chanting of Buddhist monks or sip Bordeaux as you watch Mekong fishermen haul in their nets.

The next day we took a tuk tuk to a set of waterfalls just outside of town. The falls come from a spring high in the hills and were mercifully cool. The water itself is full of calcium so it is the greenish opalescent color of Absinthe. The terraced pools created by the waterfalls are the perfect remedy to the fiendish heat.

We soaked in the soothing waters for a while before heading back to town for… wait for it… CRAZY BOWLING ACTION! Yes, somewhere out there in the jungles of Laos is a mythical bowling alley where anything goes. Tuk tuk drivers whisper about it under their breath and will only take you once the sun goes down. We arrived around midnight and got a lane right next to some drunken Laotian kids who were actually throwing each other down the lane (OVER THE LINE!!!). Come on… there are rules. This is not ‘Nam.

After a long night of throwing rocks we decided we needed a bit of culture in our lives. We rented bikes and rode out to a weaving center. A young man showed us the different steps that it takes to make the beautiful silk textiles for which Laos is famous. We got to see every step of the process from the mating moths (which can’t fly away because they are blind) to pulling the cocoons, from dyeing to weaving. Women working the looms seemed to be in a trance as their tiny, dexterous fingers pulled the threads into place and then threw the shuttle across the loom before fixing it in place. It was a fascinating process. Despite the incredible speed with which they worked, a single three foot tapestry takes over a month to create.

Later in the day we visited several different temples and watched the monks at praying, chanting and playing drums. Wat Xieng Thong was particularly interesting because of the mirrored mosaics that cover almost every surface. I was a big fan of the disco elephant. At sunset a mosaic of the tree of life glows like fire. 

Disco Elephant likes disco music!

The rhythm of Laotian life is dictated by the sun. People rise at dawn when it is still cool and get most of the day’s work finished before 10AM. By eleven o’clock the mercury shoots up to over 100 degrees and there is very little you can do but lay down. If you walk into a shop at noon it will seem deserted until the shop keeper slowly gets up from lying on the cool tile floor. We spent one of these sweltering afternoons at a beautiful café called Utopia. The café has a gorgeous garden and bamboo platform overlooking the river. The garden is decorated with exotic plants, Buddhist statues and… bombs. Laos is the most bombed country on earth. Between 1964 and 1973 the United States carried out a ‘secret war’ on  Laos, dropping approximately 260 million bombs on the country. About 78 million of these bombs failed to explode— roughly five tons of explosives for every citizen of the country. Since the end of the war over 12,000 people have fallen victim to these bombs.

When the sun goes down and the temperature becomes bearable again, Molly and I would usually hit the night market. It is a feast for the senses.  Brightly colored stalls, selling everything from snake whiskey to tea cups, compete for space with some of the most bizarre and delicious food in the world (frog on a stick anyone?). It was there that we found one of the tastiest foods we have ever tried, barbequed bacon. Imagine a two inch thick slab placed between two skewers and then roasted over an open flame until the rendered fat caramelizes into an orgy of sweet, salty, crispy, and chewy goodness that would make Elvis flinch.

We left Luang Prabang in a rickety minivan bound for Vang Vieng. The town itself is well-established on the Southeast Asian party circuit. Thousands of backpackers descend on the downtown area to revel in the “anything goes” debauchery that feels very much like the old west— no rules. Tubing down the river is a favorite activity of many of these alcohol-soaked revelers and dozens of backpackers die each year from indulging a little too much before hopping in the water. 

Despite all the madness going on in town, Vang Vieng is set amongst some of the most beautiful scenery found anywhere in the world. Huge limestone karsts rise mysteriously above tranquil rice paddies. Thousands of caves dot the countryside, some of which have cool mountain springs. Molly, Clare, Will and I rented motor bikes and spent our days riding through villages, running through fields full of butterflies and swimming in the refreshing water when the sun got too hot.

After a brief stop-over in Vientiane, the capital city, Molly and I took a sleeper bus deep into southern Laos to a place called Si Phan Don. The bus itself was a trip. Instead of seats, there were bunk beds throughout the bus. We were very glad to be traveling together because solo travelers were matched up randomly and had to sleep in the same bed with a stranger.

After a bumpy night in our bus-beds, we arrived in Si Phan Don at the southern-most point in Laos, on the Cambodian border. In this section of the Mekong, the river water turns from muddy brown to emerald green and it spreads out to a few miles wide creating a river archipelago with thousands of islands ranging in size from a few feet to several miles. Si Phan Don literally translates to ‘Four Thousand Islands.’ Here, the already slow pace of Laos life is reduced to a crawl. We stopped at the island of Don Det and booked a threadbare bungalow built on stilts right over the water. Over the next few days we got very familiar with the hammocks on our front porch.

The day before we left Don Det we rented bikes to ride around the island. When we asked the owner of the shop if he had locks for the bikes, he looked genuinely puzzled. “Why?” he asked. We took the bikes and rode across the old French bridge to a different island called Don Khon in search of the famous Mekong River dolphins. Scientists believe there are less than one hundred of these animals left on the planet so seeing them would be a real treat. At the southern tip of Don Khon a local family ran a small restaurant by the water. The husband was a boatman and offered to take us out to see the dolphins.  It took us about forty minutes to snake our way through the twisting river until we reached the feeding grounds. I didn’t really expect to see anything so I was taken aback when a grey shape breached the surface about 100 yards from our boat. Over the next hour we watched about ten dolphins frolic and play in the cool waters.

When we got back to shore Molly’s bike was gone. We asked the family about it but they just shook their heads. Frustrated, we walked about 50 feet down the road only to find that the seven-year-old son of the boatman had taken the bike for a joy ride, crashed it into a ditch and popped the front tire. So much for not needing a lock! When we asked the family what we should do they just shook their heads and threw their hands in the air. Needless to say it was a hot and dusty walk back to the bungalow… but nothing that a hammock and a cold beer couldn’t fix.

Like a lazy afternoon daydream, our time in Laos eventually had to end. We crossed the wide Mekong one last time on our way into Cambodia.  But after almost a month here, there are many things about Laos that we will never forget. In a country with so little, the people seem to focus on the things that are most important in life. Families are tight knit and neighbors help each other in any way they can. People live communally, sharing everything from a hammock to a meal, and the concept of possession is totally foreign to them. In fact, the word for “mine” and “yours” is the same in Lao. The Laotian disposition is truly easy going and they spend lots of time relaxing and enjoying the natural beauty of their country. Despite the fact that most people here live on about one dollar per day, they seem to be some of the happiest on earth. Is it any wonder then that people here take their time and enjoy every moment? After all, this is Laos. Please Don’t Rush.